Saliva and Prozac

When I think about goals, I get excited. And when I say excited, I mean a kind of manic, salivating excited.

That saliva kind of dried up this morning (I'm sorry now I used that analogy) when I stumbled across this completely unbiased article (I hope you caught the sarcasm). Not only is Utah the Mormon and jello capital of the world, it is also the Prozac capital of the United States. The Professor in the article disclaims the belief that this is because of the pressure the church places on women to be perfect. I'm sure there are women who would be able to argue the point with him because they have felt undeniable pressure from their church leaders to be the said perfect. I, however, am not one of these women. I've never felt pressure from church leaders to be perfect. I have, however, felt pressure from myself to be perfect. And with that realization, the saliva dried up.

What if I fail? Or what if I'm successful in one area and drop the ball in another? What if I reach my goal and it wasn't what I expected it to be? What if my kids end up resenting me for neglecting them in other pursuits? Sounds like the road to Prozac to me. And I have failed. Failed again, and again. And again. The thought came to mind, "Whelp, that's the end of another blog, and another failure to chalk up on the wall of shame." That's the end...
But then I thought, "I wonder what my next blog should be about?"

In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that when we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us?... Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity.
                  -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (2014 April General Conference)

No that's not the end. I'm not interested in giving up before I've started. I'm not even interested in giving up after I've failed. Why? For those of you who are still reading this, the reason is because God and I care more about the process than the outcome.

Scripture Plug:
In Matt 5:48 (KJV) Christ commands us to be perfect "even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." That's a lot of pressure (don't start poppin' just yet). In the Book of Mormon, 3rd Nephi 12:48, He commands us to be perfect again, but this time we are to be perfect "even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect" (emphasis added). Why the difference? In Matthew, Jesus had not yet been resurrected and glorified. In 3rd Nephi, He had. In Doctrine and Covenants 93:13 it says that, "He received not of the fullness at first, but continued from grace to grace, until He received a fullness." Even Jesus needed a process.

I'm going to work very hard to reach my goals and in the end the "whatifs" that dry me up just may happen, but when the dust settles and I've had a drink of water, I will look around and see I'm not where I was yesterday. I've moved. And in moving, I've learned. I can look God in the eyes (scary thought) and say, "I didn't bury my talents".
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wipe my mouth.

*Please understand that the use of "Prozac" in this article is as a metaphor for depression. I in no way meant to convey that Prozac was bad and shouldn't be used. I meant to convey depression is not fun and I would like to avoid it.