Tests and Midlife Crisis

I went to a meeting yesterday that a mom from my son's school invited me to go to. She had found a bunch of moms that wanted to do a summer camp for their small children. I was impressed with how much these women were willing to do to make sure their children had an educational summer. So, I declined the offer. They were offering me the opportunity to let my kids do everything I hate about school. Set time, set place, structured activities, prepared in advance, don't talk out of turn, raise your hand, you didn't do that right, do it again, there will be a test, and on and on. If we had just gotten together and decided on a park and time that the kids could get together and do play dates I would have been all about it. But all that self directed learning is not the best use of time.

I got another lesson in what is a good use of time for my children according to Taiwanese standards last night. My boy brought home what looked like a coloring contest brochure from school. On closer examination it showed that if you colored this and took it to a nearby supermarket in the next two days, it could be used as a ticket to play on giant bounce house stuff. Score! So my kids colored and we went, only for naive me to realize (apparently my husband knew what was coming, hence having to drag him out the door while we were all chomping at the bit) that it was a sales gimmick for an educational computer program for kids. One sales person played with the kids on the computer while another gives their sales pitch to the parents. After this ten minute sales pitch the young man gave us the form to sign up. We declined. "What's the problem? We lowered the price $30 (American) for you. You can pay in monthly installments for 3 years and for the low low price of $800 (American), your child can learn everything he needs to know to pass every test through the fifth grade!" Oh, how I wanted to tell him what the problem was~ "My kid goes to school every day from 7am to 4pm (that will be the schedule in 3rd grade). Every year he has a test to show what he learned for the entire year. A test every quarter to prepare for the year test. A test every month to get ready for the quarter tests. And a test every week to get ready for the monthly test. From 7 to 4 they will be spending their time memorizing information that has no meaning for them, except for the fact that it will be on the test. Their self worth will be measured by the rank in class the test gives them (teachers post their ranks from first to last in the class for all to see). None of the information memorized for the test will be used in any useful way because there's too much to memorize and time is limited. You are offering me the opportunity for $800 to let my kid continue spending his time testing at home on my computer. They're cute tests that growl when you get the right answer, but TESTS all the same. No. Thank. You." Instead we said, "We'll think about it." Then we got to go on the bounce slide twice. The kids thought it was great.

There is a point to all of this.
This got me thinking. I want my children to be curious, innovative, self directed, problem solvers. Not too much to ask is it? So this morning I asked them what they wanted to do and realized, their vision is limited. They didn't know what they wanted to do. So I made suggestions, "You can draw, play with playdough, do watercolors or play with blocks." None of that excited them and I knew it wouldn't because we've done a lot of that in the past. Then I said, "We have a lot of cardboard boxes. Do you want to build a house, a rocket, a robot?" I saw their vision expand. They didn't realize that was a possibility. But now that it was, there was no stopping them.
As I watched them get to work, I realized my vision is limited. My not even 2 year old made a hopscotch game while my 4 and almost 6 year old made masks and then used them to play hide-go-scare. I never would have come up with these ways to play with a box and they had a blast. It was fun to watch, but I didn't get to watch very much because, they needed a lot of help. Especially my 4 year old. She wanted a mask but didn't know how to draw it. I told her to watch her brother, but his were too complicated for her. We talked about her face and where eyes and mouths are and how to put that on paper. I ended up drawing it and cutting it out while she showed me where to draw and where to cut.
These three things have put me in a reflective mood today. I feel like I'm one of my kids. My vision is limited. I feel like God said to me one day, "What do you want to do today? and I said, "I don't know." I think that's how a midlife crisis starts. At least that's how mine started. Now after a lot of prayers, I hope my vision has been expanded, but I'm still betting that God has a lot better stuff in store for me than I'm imagining for myself.
Just like my vision of what my kids could or would do was limited, many of the people around me now and in the future will have a limited vision of what I can or should be doing. My kids completely shut me out when I tried to change their vision, but were very receptive when they could see I wanted to help them further their vision. I should take my lead from them.
Which brings me to the last point. I need a lot of help, so please feel free to be helpful. I've never started a business or stayed on a diet, or even had a clean house. I'm entering new territory. I would love your suggestions, or to hear about things that have worked for you. Just the pats on the back that I've had from people who've read my previous posts have been helpful. So Thank You.